"This mustachioed manual laborer shall become an icon among the common people — a hero cast in their own image. Taking possession of his form, they shall attempt to compensate for their own failed dreams and enterprises by hopping over arbitrary obstacles, trampling anthropomorphized fungi, and collecting imaginary currency. He shall be transmitted through clouds, from the heavens, into the homes of his idolatrous followers — and he shall partake in numerous activities the populace shall be too apathetic to pursue; tennis, golf, and motorized bicycle riding."
Beginning in 1995, the Big N's own "Satellaview" — a satellite modem add-on for the Japanese Super Famicom — offered lucky consumers the chance to experience the cutting edge years before the Xbox Live marketplace or Wii Virtual Console brought downloadable gaming into the mainstream.
For a measly ¥4,000 (around $115), pioneering Japanese gamers got a box full of wires, connectors and cartridges that, once correctly installed — according to popular myth, anyway — would beam exclusive game content, remakes of classic Nintendo cartridges, and live gameplay broadcasts directly into their Super Famicom consoles, prompting many an Asian to exclaim, "Super Happy Fun-Time!"
Christ. That was terrible. I'll work on that, I promise.
Users would boot up the system, design and name a unique avatar, and then go wandering about a cityscape gameworld designed, basically, as one great big menu for the BS-X (Broadcast Satellaview-X) service. During set broadcasting hours (between 4:00 PM and 7:00 PM, by most accounts), one could navigate the little town and download the latest Zelda game, receive up-to-date industry news, or see their own scores posted up against their fellow countrymen's.
And how'd it all look? Well, it was very cute. And very, very Japanese.
Games varied from exclusive broadcast-only sequels (F-Zero Grand Prix) to stand-alone titles (Radical Dreamers). BunBun Mario Battle Stadium, meanwhile, sort of fell into a category all its own, as a reskinned version of the venerable 8-bit Excitebike, repackaged with the Mushroom Kingdom cast and updated to 16-bit. (BunBun, for the record, means "shake-shake," but can also mean "the sound of bees" or "a buzzing sound.")
So, literally speaking, the game's title translates to Vroom-Vroom! Mario Battle Stadium.
Again, the Japanese.
It saw release in May 1997 as a live game broadcast and was then available for download in three more installments, each offering new updates and an expanded character roster. (Yoshi finally made it into the main cast in the fourth go-round.)
Alas, BunBun Mario Battle Stadium's ultimate fate was sealed from the beginning, just like all the other Satellaview titles. It never was released in any form in North America, and after the Japanese-only peripheral got the boot in 1999, the service was discontinued.
By then, no one was interested in firing up their old SNES consoles for a few rounds of Mario-themed Excitebike; kids were busy with their PlayStations and Nintendo 64s, and even more advanced consoles were just around the corner. But it was the advent of affordable high-speed Internet that finally dealt a mortal blow to the impractical satellite gaming business.
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